Saying you are going to spend the day acting like Desperate Housewives has proven to be quite hard. None of our neighbours are involved in any murder cases (that we know of) and the most dramatic thing that's happened on our street was last week when Breezy parked in our neighbour's parking space. They knocked on the door, asked her to move, but she couldn't find the keys. Then she did and duly parked somewhere else. Not exactly edge of your seat stuff, but that's the best you can hope for round here.
To guide we decided the simplest thing to do would be to follow the lead of the most desperate housewife of all-- our Mum. So we set off in our car to go and talk to her. Halfway there we had a change of heart. The whole reason my Mum has turned into the bewildering crackpot that she is, is all down to the fact she had five kids. We were by no means tearaways, but we certainly had our moments. Incidents involving myself are responsible for quite a few of the frown lines that decorate her forehead.
There was the time I shot my older sister in base of the spine with an umbrella because she wouldn't let me have a go on Tetris on the Gameboy. There was also the time where I stamped repeatedly on the foot of my second oldest brother because he'd been taking the piss out of me. This might not sound too bad, but what you have to bear in mind is that he was recovery after having an operation on his hip. No, I wasn't a very nice kid.
Without our Mum as inspiration, we had to get it from elsewhere. So we sat in the car and strapped on our thinking caps --mine's green and Breezy's is pink. After about 45 minutes of constant thinking we decided that our day was to be spent doing things that the housewives on the show would do.
Going to rodeos, cake baking events and expensive restaurants. Unfortunately, there's nothing like that round here so instead we had to plump for going to a duck pond, a cake shop and a Beefeater. Three words: Living the dream.
Below are two video clips we put together to imagine how our characters makes it out of bed in the morning.
Video: I wish I had this much get up and go in the mornings.
Video: Christine has always had a nose for the boys, which is why she is so good as Gabrielle
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